Source: The Pamphleteer
by Tyler Hummel
“‘Your kids have been turned into mindless vassals who look up to some twit instead of looking up to Thomas Jefferson,’ screams Alex Jones into the camera. ‘Kids! Magellan is a lot cooler than Justin Bieber! He circumnavigated, with one ship, the entire planet! He was killed by wild natives before he got back to Portugal!’ His face reddens and his fists begin to pound the air. ‘That’s destiny! That’s will! That’s striving! That’s being a trailblazer! Going into space! Mathematics! Quantum mechanics! The secrets of the universe! Life is fiery with its beauty!’ He finally explodes, ‘And they want to shutter your mind talking about Justin Bieber!’ This might sound like the ramblings of a madman (and it is), but as presented in the decade old original viral video, it is one of the funniest clips on the internet …” (04/25/24)