With 108% Of Precincts Reporting, Katie Hobbs Projected To Win Arizona Governor’s Race

Source: Babylon Bee
by staff

“In a stunning outcome to a highly scrutinized race, Katie Hobbs, the charismatic leader and official vote counter of Arizona, has emerged victorious after 108% of the state’s voting precincts reported in. Though mathematicians were puzzled by the plausibility — and, indeed, possibility –of the results, Democrats were quick to hail Hobbs’s win as a victory for democracy itself. ‘We knew things looked really bad for weeks leading up to election night, what with abysmal approval ratings for our party, Americans feeling negatively about the overall direction of the country, and Ms. Hobbs being afraid to debate her opponent or even appear in public,’ said Hobbs’s campaign spokesperson Hailey Barber-Berger-Jorgensen. ‘But we felt very confident that once we got our vote tallies from all 108% of precincts, including those in other states and overseas, we would come out victorious.'” [editor’s note: Once again, “satire” (and conspiracy theory) today, truth in a few weeks? – SAT] (11/16/22)